This is Going to Hurt

It will be an unremarkable day until the phone rings.

You will forever remember where you were when the call comes and

Devastation marches in behind the words that are spoken.

You will forget what it felt like to be you before the call

The freedom of not knowing this thing that you can ever un-know

This is going to hurt.

It will break you in ways you didn't know possible

It will trap you in the darkest places

You will believe light was just an illusion and this darkness is all that is true.

You will be here for awhile

You begin to believe you will always, always be here

This hurts.

You will get lost in the darkness and see no way out

You will avoid happy people

Yet you know they, too, are one phone call away from darkness.

One day, you will fight desperately to find the light again

You will find it, briefly

It won't last, because the phone is ringing again.

This is going to hurt.

Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief. Do not bring your servant into judgment, for no one living is righteous before you. The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in the darkness like those long dead. So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed. I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land.[a]

Answer me quickly, Lord; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit.

~Psalm 143:1-7